Extraordinary Tip: Everyone Isn’t Scandalous
Okay, I watch the housewives, too. And other reality shows. Yes, I am ashamed because by watching them regularly I contribute to the collected belief that the lifestyle these women display is normal. It’s not. Not even a little.
Remember in high school when all of your friends were telling you who was doing what in whose back seat? Lying to make you feel like giving it up was normal, common and expected? Well, that’s kind of what the reality shows are doing to us. If we see enough women on TV speaking in taglines and smashing bottles we will think it’s normal. But the very reason most of us watch these shows is because the lifestyles portrayed are so beyond the norm. Everything is an exaggeration, every fight a blow up, every romance tragic — it is all so much drama.
The problem is, people assume real woman will be some variation of the stereotype portrayed. People pass you on the street and speak to you in taglines. People think it’s okay to refer to you with a name or other overly familiar term so long as they do it “affectionately”. People encourage you to get blinged out, engage in unhealthy relationship behavior and expose your children to the world.
And then, you start to wonder if you’re the only person who doesn’t refer to themselves as “she”. You start to wonder if a pair of expensive shoes is supposed to be a priority. You start to wonder why a person would have a difficult time pillow-talking with a significant other on camera.
No offense to the people on reality shows, they are paying for their participation in ways we probably can’t imagine. No offense to the viewers; it’s human nature to be curious about a disaster and I’m not one to beat myself up over being human :-).
I firmly blame television stations for discontinuing my favorite soap operas and then immediately offering up these substitutes. Had I known watching these shows would come around to bite me in the assets I never would have even started.
So while it’s not my fault I’m addicted, I am very aware that I hold some responsibility for the success of these shows and, therefore, some obligation to spend at least a little time wondering what they are doing to my perception to the world. Shame on us as a society, collectively, if we allow the values portrayed on these shows to become rooted too deeply in our psychosis. The danger is not in pointing and staring, the danger is when we no longer need to point and stare because our lives have become just as crazy as what we see on television.
I’ve already stopped watching one; I’m going to try to wean myself off the others, slowly. It’s tough without my soaps.
Do you watch those shows and do you think too much is made of them (positive or negative)?
Shirley McCann
June 6, 2014 at 1:00 pmI don’t watch most reality tv shows. But I DO like the contest shows on Food Network. Are those considered reality? Not sure. I used to watch Days of Our Lives years ago, but quit when Marlena became possessed. Now I prefer to watch the ID channel, where they solve murders.
I might have become addicted to those reality shows if I’d ever watched one. Good thing I didn’t, huh?
ava bleu
June 6, 2014 at 1:31 pmYou’re very smart not to start, Shirley. I was hooked with the first season of “Survivor”. Now I’ve graduated to the hard stuff (the housewives). I’m not proud of it. But asking a novelist to ignore drama is pretty impossible.
I love the food shows, too. I think they are also reality, but I don’t feel guilty watching them because really, it’s all about food :-).
ava bleu
June 6, 2014 at 3:09 pmI think they do. I’m even worse than I thought, I watch all those, as well. I’m only really ashamed of the ones where people physically brawl. The others I am only marginally ashamed of.
Ashantay Peters
June 6, 2014 at 5:09 pmI haven’t watched many reality shows because, well, I don’t have cable and can’t get the local networks. I’ve seen a few episodes of DWTS – didn’t realize that was a reality show because I focused on the dancing, but, yeah! It is. Sometimes I get scared when I see the grocery store checkout magazines and don’t recognize anyone pictured. And I don’t get the Kardashian thing at all. Just call me T-Rex. Best wishes on your reality show withdrawals!
ava bleu
June 6, 2014 at 5:19 pmI’ve only had cable for a few years–I wonder if that has something to do with it. sometimes I wish I could go back. and don’t worry, you aren’t missing much. if I were addicted to something good I wouldn’t feel so bad 😉
Rhonda McKnight
June 6, 2014 at 7:34 pmFunny post. I watch a teeny bit of reality television. I love all things House Hunters, Sharktank and I love me some Tamar and Vince. I used to love Running Russell Simmons and I watched as much of Kimora as I could stand, so from what you can see, I like to watch “real” rich people’s realities. 🙂 I don’t think there’s anything wrong with watching reality television. I think people like to criticize the television of others to make themselves feel better about their choices. I love Law and Order SUV, but honestly how sick is that? How crazy is it to watch Criminal Minds or any of the cop shows that are so horribly violent? It’s entertainment and I don’t know about you, but I need to be entertained at the end of my day.
ava bleu
June 6, 2014 at 9:03 pmThank you for understanding :-).
Sydney St. Claire
June 8, 2014 at 12:51 amI watch very little and when I do, its things like pawn stars, Dancing with the Stars, did watch some of the hoarding ones and ballet one (fat people can dance)
I tend not to like lots of drama like the survivor type but am willing to be entertained by music and dance. Pawn Stars just has great people.
ava bleu
June 8, 2014 at 10:24 ami’ve heard that pawn show is great but i’ve never seen it. it’s interesting to see the types of reality shows people like. some like drama, others like talent. i love the r&b shows because occasionally you get to hear them sing. i like the housewives because of the drama.
Ally Hayes
June 8, 2014 at 6:32 pmI like them too and am not ashamed. I’d better not be, my upcoming book is Reality Re-Do! I’m a fan of the home rennovation reality shows but love to use my daughters as excuses for watching The Voice and American Idol. Fun post, love addiction confessions.
ava bleu
June 8, 2014 at 8:07 pmI probably shouldn’t admit it, but this is just one of my addictions. I will likely reveal more in this blog 🙂 .
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